Hot-tubbing with the Melting Pot

Yesterday I was feeling housebound.  I guess 95 degree weather with heat index around 110 does contribute to cabin-i-tus.  So last night I escaped the house and being the motivated person that I am I decided to take a spinning class at the Y. (You can see that I was pretty desperate to get out!) So I dressed in my workout clothes and even brought along my swimsuit with the thought of relaxing in the hot tub after the grueling workout.

I survived the workout--lots of sweat and heavy breathing must mean that I used up at least 20,000 calories.  Now getting the swimsuit on my sweaty body afterward was kind of comical and I sure am glad I was the only one in the locker room!  I kept the grunting to a minimum as not to alert the staff that something untoward was going on.

Ahhhhhh....the hot tub.  It was hot and soothing.......until I could no longer ignore the morons with whom I was sharing the tub.  (this was the YMCA after all).  When I had first looked into the pool area there was only one man in the tub.  By the time I got that recalcitrant swim suit on, there were 4 people in the tub.  (Give us a description you ask?)

Here goes:

One pasty 30-something balding white guy covered in black body hair-chest, shoulders, & back!

One heavy-set 20-30 something Asian woman

One fat, tattooed male moron who belonged to the Asian woman

One young black teen girl who kept yelling to the life guard trying to keep his attention with her babbling

One middle-aged caucasian granny just trying to relax and heat up the old joints and bones--that would be me!

I'd seen pasty white guy hanging out in the hot tub once before.  Kind of creeped me out, but he didn't say anything and kept to himself.  Now the other 3 were another matter.  The whole of the conversation between tattoo-man and his girlfriend consisted of how he got his tattoos, (how he and his buddy did one of them with a needle and thread), which tattoo was for his ex-wife, girlfriend, whatever.  The final gross-out came when he talked about the fairy tattoo he had on his shoulder.  He was proud to say that when guy friends would tease him about having a fairy tattoo, he'd just say he was the only guy with a naked fairy on his mushroom!

Oh yeah, I hot tub with only the best at the YMCA!

Thank God, they moved on out to the Lazy River to continue their high-class discourse.  Pasty white guy left for a few minutes and that left annoying teen-girl who proceeded to yell out to the closest male life guard with inane remarks like, "Hey!  Did you know I'm going to try out to for the Park Hill football team this year?"  Ya, I'm going to try to get a scholarship.   "Hey!  Where's that kid's mother?  Aren't parents supposed to be in here with their kids?"  "Hey what are all those kids doing over by the door?"  "Hey, why's the door propped open?"  "Hey, can I go back in the pool now?"

OK, enough of this melting pot experience, all I needed were a couple of illegal immigrants to round out the experience.  Time to get out and go home.  

On my way back to the locker room, pasty white guy followed me.  So before leaving the pool area I stopped, turned around, and waited to see what he would do.  OK, he wasn't stalking me--he was just going to the sauna. 

Think I'm gonna go back tomorrow night for another peek into what's happening in America!