Poor White Trash Yard Art

"Drunken Drive Way Takes a Wrong Turn"---That's the headline I plan to submit to the local Platte County News Rag. 

After a frenetic week of work, I was ready for a little down time.  The plan was to spend a quiet Friday evening playing cards with my "saintly friends" from Gloria Dei.  As it was only 4 o'clock in the afternoon, thought I'd relax on the couch before gearing up for the evening.  But there was no rest to be had for the weary. 

I could hear that the neighbors were restless.  Lots of boysterous chatter interrupted my rest.  I could tell they were out in the neighbor's front yard---remember the neighbor who lived so close that she could get to my front door before I could even get out of my chair!!---that neighbor!

By 4:30 pm Wayne arrived home only to declare that the neigbors were already starting up druken driveway for the evening.

Knowing I would get no further rest on the couch, I decided to be social and join the fray -- start my evening a little early --what the hell.  So I grabbed my chair and my diet coke--(yes, should have added some rum to that coke in hindsight!).

Bri-Bri was already a couple sheets to the wind.  He and the rest of the revelers had already started creating yard art with their beer bottles and cans.  Their first work of art was forming into the face of a clock.  They only needed to land a can in the 12 o'clock position to complete the venture.

Not sure if the clock was ever completed as we left to prepare for our next event and the neighbors changed their focus to decorating our our yard with their lovely trash-art creations!

They have become ever more bold--probably due to the alcohol already consumed--decorating during the daylight hours before we have even left the premises!!  At this point in our neighbor relationship, I have realized that it is really best to just let them go---and enjoy the fruits of their labors. 

I am just happy to know that the neighbors are having fun and finding a way to entertain themselves.  They all know that I secretly enjoy the attention--after all--this 50's decade is all about me!

So I now share with you the fruits of their labors:

Bestest Damn Neighbor to the North

Alright!  Just so that you all know that I have the bestest damn neighbor living to the north of me, let me sing her praises!!!
  Within seconds of posting the last comment on the Family Stories piece, Laura was banging on my door with a pile of money!!!  I had not even had time to log off!!!
  First you must understand that Laura is always surprising me.  I wake up on Easter to a yard filled with yellow puff ball dandelions, or pastel colored pinwheels by the dozens, or plastic Easter eggs, etc.  And I can never leave my house again over Christmas for all the trashy decorations that are plastered over every inch of my yard. 
  Laura's creativity is endless and all she needs is the cover of night!  (It helps that we are in bed by 9:00 pm most nights :) 
  Thursday, the night before my birthday, Laura brings over a tray filled with almost every birthday item that I blogged about earlier in the week. "Yes, my birthday is Friday, Sept 3rd, and I expect lots of attention from all my friends and family---gifts, money, chocolate, adoration......whatever!"  In the center of the tray was a basket of flowers.  Surrounding the flowers were home-baked cookies (in the shape of a crown--I am the Queen if you didn't know.) and four or five different types of small chocolates and a birthday card.  Laura even gave me the crown cookie cutter.  So my expectation of attention in the form of gifts, chocolate, and adoration were fulfilled (Laura does adore me as Queen of the neighborhood and her adoration is very evident!).
  I immediately called her and told her she made my night and my birthday hadn't even begun.  Evidently, upon re-reading the blog entry, she must have realized her error in not giving me money, so in the comment  box she said she'd give me a dime sometime.  We'll I now have much more than a dime, $1.12 to be exact!  Cause when I posted that I'd gush her praises when she brought me the money-----I had the money before I could close out the blog.
  I hadn't even left my computer chair, when bang, bang, bang--someone's accosting our front door.  Thought Wayne would have a heart attack.  Then I hear someone running down my stairs--to discover it is Laura with a handful of change.  She has now officially granted every one of my birthday blog requests.
  And now you understand this tribute to the Best Damn Neighbor to the North!!

Family Stories

Hey there everyone!  Can you tell I've gone back to work???  I'm still breathing even though I seem to be entering my hibernation mode.  Just darn tired and running like a crazy woman with work, the community garden, baby Hayley, the Just Between Friends consignment sale, and my yard work.

Now for a little family storytime.......
Got a birthday card from my sis this week (Yes, my birthday is Friday, Sept 3rd, and I expect lots of attention from all my friends and family---gifts, money, chocolate, adoration......whatever!)  Now back to the card...

Paula's card was signed, "Love Jane".  I did a double take and looked on the envelope at the return address because I have a friend named Jane---so the "Love, Jane" confused me-----until I read her short note:
 "With therapy I have learned to accept that I am Jane!  Thanks!  You old poop stain!" 
With those words it all fell into place.  And I laughed and laughed and laughed!

Ah, the memories, they seem like yesterday---and obviously they are very close to Paula's heart.  When little Paula Jean was just a young thing, she and I shared a room.  (I am seven years older than the little squirt so of course she worshipped me.)  For some reason, while we lay in bed at night, I thought it was very funny to torment her by whispering the phrase, "Hey Jane, where's Sally?"  She'd yell that she wasn't Jane and I just kept whispering the phrase to her every few minutes.  This would go on any night that I decided to yank her chain.  And obviously she has harbored these memories for over 30 years.

Now lest you think me cruel---just remember that we were, and still are, a disfunctional family (every family is!!!) and I had every reason to save my sanity with these little games.  With 5 kids in the family--3 of them bed wetters and quirky to boot, I deserved some down time.  If I wasn't helping to raise Paula, I was being asked by my parents to allow one of the bed wetters to climb in bed with me after he had wet his bed, then my parents' bed.  And yes, he would then proceed to wet MY bed.   And don't feel sorry for Paula.  She was the type of kid who was always afraid of the dark and wanted to sleep in my bed too!  It was a regular zoo in my bed!!!  Did Paula work to overcome her fear of the dark?????  NOoooooooooo!  She went to every scary movie she could find!  She watched Halloween at least 3 times!!!!  And then it was, "Sue, I'm scared.....Can I sleep with you?"

So now you know one of my favorite family memories.  How about sharing one or two of yours? 
Come on---pull out a family skeleton or two!